The High Cost of 'Always On': Reclaiming Peace in a Digital World

My eyes sting from reading so many posts and watching videos about current events. It’s too much. Typically my phone is left in the other room while I write or at home when I take a walk, but it seems recently like it’s an unfolding disaster that I can’t look away from and I’ve been over-consuming the news. I’ve taken a conscious stance around the use of tech - silencing notifications, removing social apps and turning the screen to black and white. But, like with many habits, it needs to be refreshed. 

Reports vary, but the average person spends about 4 hours and 37 minutes on their phone each day. Some report up to 8 hours a day. The average daily pickup number has been reported to be anywhere from 58 and up to 80 times a day. That’s 58 distractions -at least. 58 tiny cuts to your attention. For highly sensitive people (HSP), that’s more than just a number—it’s a recipe for overwhelm. It’s the opposite of deep processing, one of the hallmarks of an HSP. 

If deep processing is important to you and it’s how you make sense of the world and come to authentic understanding, imagine how destructive it is to not have the time and space to do it? Daily digital use habits rob us of this important process. 

A significant chunk of phone use is spent on social apps which have their own set of problems. The phones themselves, along with social apps are designed to be addictive. Just like the highly processed foods readily available on the shelves today. It’s up to each one of us to become an active participant in our own rescue. From endless notifications to the ever-alarming news to the pull of social media, being ‘always on’ is the new normal. But at what cost?

Constant connectivity comes with significant downsides, especially for HSPs. It can impact mental clarity. Constant notifications and multitasking fragments focus and increases stress. Studies have shown that it can take up to 25 minutes to refocus on a task after being distracted. A ping from your phone, even if you don’t pick it up, causes this kind of distraction and break of focus. 

Our brain wasn’t designed to switch between 20 apps every hour. Context switching is like a machete slashing through our attention. It’s a major source of exhaustion by the end of the day.

Digital noise also stifles the quiet space needed for creative breakthroughs. When was the last time you let your mind wander without reaching for your phone? Have you ever been out to dinner when someone wondered about a topic out loud and everyone reached for the phone to look up the answer, instead of just sitting with the question? Curiosity and wonder are important states. Our phones rob us of them. 

Social media use in particular can have mental and emotional health consequences. Comparison and digital fatigue drain emotional energy, especially for those deeply attuned to others.

The emotional weight of being ‘always on’ can feel like carrying the world on your shoulders. But it doesn’t have to be this way. 

For those that grew up with the phone tethered to the wall and no chance of anyone reaching you when playing outside - unless your mother yelled out to the neighborhood or your friends came riding by on bikes - may have an easier time creating a healthy distance from our devices. We’re not digital natives. 

Cal Newport, author of Deep Work, Slow Productivity and many other books, doesn’t mince words. In a 2017 talk he made a case for not using social media at all. In 2024, he proposed a ban on social media - it’s that addictive and destructive.

What to do? Just like cleaning the house, or recommitting to a exercise routine, it’s something we need to look at each season. It’s not a one and done process. Just like the front hall closet, the ‘fridge and your morning routine, phone use needs to be decluttered and reorganized. We need to recommit to our plan over and over again because it’s human nature to drift. Each season, I like to address my digital habits, clean up the clutter and recommit to some health habits around their use. It seems more important now. I can get a feel for world affairs in 15 minutes a day. I don’t need to doom scroll for hours. So, it’s time to make some changes. 

Signs It’s Time for a Digital Detox

Where are you at with your digital device use? Recognize when digital habits are taking a toll.

Common signs of digital overload include:

• Difficulty focusing or remembering things.
• Feeling constantly “wired” but tired.
• Increased anxiety or irritability after using screens.
• Trouble sleeping or unwinding at the end of the day.
• A sense of disconnect from your inner world.

Does this sound familiar? If so, it might be time to step back and reset.

There are many benefits. Disconnecting can lead to greater clarity, creativity, and joy. When you step away from screens, you create space for focused, intentional thinking. Less digital noise means more room to process your own emotions and reconnect with what matters most. When you’re not glued to your phone, you notice the beauty of the moment—the way sunlight dances on the wall, or the sound of birds outside your window.

How can you start reclaiming peace and sovereignty in a hyper-connected world?

Small, intentional actions can create meaningful change. Here are some suggestions:

• Try a Tech-Free Hour:
• Set a daily time block to be completely screen-free. Use this time to read, meditate, or journal. This is especially beneficial at the start and end of each day. Already unplug before bed? Add an hour. Make a game of it and see how late in the day you can pick up your phone for the first time. 10am? Imagine spending the first hour or two of each day in deep, creative work before all the buzzers and bells take over your attention.
• Create a Device-Free Zone:
• Designate areas in your home (like your bedroom) as tech-free sanctuaries. Get a simple battery operated alarm clock, or set the phone alarm to peaceful music from the other room to signal wake-up time. 
• Limit Notifications:
• Turn off non-essential notifications to reduce interruptions. Train your people to not expect an immediate response. 
• Reconnect with Nature:
• Spend time outdoors, allowing yourself to fully immerse in the sights and sounds. If you bring your phone with you on a hike for safety or directions, tuck it into a place that’s a little difficult to get at to reduce the temptation to mindlessly reach for it. 
• Practice Digital Mindfulness:
• Pause before picking up your phone and ask, “Do I really need to check this right now?” Notice the sensations that arise along with the urge to reach for your phone. Take a deep breath and let the sensations pass. 

If you’d like to do this in a supportive community, I’m offering a free workshop on February 5 to help declutter digitally. 

This Digital Detox Workshop is designed to help you step back from the digital chaos, reconnect with yourself, and find peace in a hyper-connected world.

Find out more and register HERE.

We’ve been trained to respond to our phones like every notification is urgent. But the real urgency is in reclaiming our time and attention. You don’t have to be at the mercy of your devices. They weren’t made to support you. They were made to capture you. It’s the opposite of freedom. By taking small steps to disconnect, you create room for clarity, creativity, and connection. 

Are you ready to reclaim your peace when these devices were made to rob you of it? What’s one step you can take right now to create healthy boundaries with your tech use? Share a comment. And, be sure to join us for our Digital Detox Workshop.