The New Work- Rest-Play Balance

Last night, I made a loaf of bread. I relished the slow pace of waiting between rise times and the tactile experience of kneading the dough, followed by the warm smell that wafted through our home. Somehow, after years of not making bread, it turned out perfect. I credit our convection oven and an excellent recipe that included the bit about putting a steaming pan of water in the oven. The crust was crunchy, the crumb was airy. A knock on the bottom of the loaf made a warm hollow sound like I was knocking on the round door of a hobbit’s home, adding another sensory layer to the experience. 

The time I spent on this bread, including eating a warm piece of it slathered in butter, was about 1.5 hours total. I put this time squarely into the “play” category of my day.

I divide my days into these sections – work, rest and play. I need an even measure of all three. We all do. This is how the human brain functions. It’s a radical oversimplification because the human brain is incredibly complex and still largely unknown, but we can break it down like this. When on-task during focused work, the pre-frontal cortex is doing all its fancy processing and figuring. At rest, the default mode network becomes the most active part of the brain. This magical area wasn’t understood until His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama asked neuroscientists (who previously only studied abnormalities and on-task functions) what was going on in the brain during times of rest and meditation. Turns out, a lot. At rest, the brain explores novel solutions, reflects on experiences and literally creates our future through imagination. At play, the brain processes emotions. The amygdala and cerebellum are active during physical play and without it, unprocessed emotions can build up.

A well-rounded life, and a fully engaged brain, require a balance of work, rest and play.

The term “work-life balance” developed from a recognition that life can’t be all work. Then it morphed into a proclamation that there is no balance – as in 50/50. This is chained to an overworking myth that I’ve made it my mission to bust. It’s counter to the dominant message but it’s out of rest and play that our best work comes. Working harder and longer has the opposite effect. Work-life balance also suggests that work is not life but something to get out of to go live a life. But work, when meaningful and aligned with your values, is a worthwhile part of life. Instead of, “When can I stop working so I can go live my life?”, it becomes, “How can I use rest and play to promote my best work?” When it’s time to work, you feel clear, energized and creative because you’ve had time to relax and have fun.

I call for a new balance – the work-rest-play balance. We need equal parts of all three to be well and thrive. It’s up to each one of us to move our outer life into more alignment with this balance.

Baking bread is playful to me. It’s also a way to change the balance of working and spending. Is the $5 a week I save making my own bread going to change my financial picture? No, but it’s a part of other lifestyle choices. Convenience food was created so people can work more. I choose to make food at home. It’s pleasurable and saves money so I’m less pressed to work harder to earn more. Rather than a chore, it becomes a chance to let my mind wander and process emotions.

If you don’t like to bake bread from scratch, or it stresses you out, then that’s not play for you. It may be an exchange of services with a neighbor that leaves you feeling refreshed, not frazzled. The work-rest-play balance is about tweaking the numbers so you earn what supports your lifestyle without sacrificing your life.

The pressure many feel between earned income and monthly expenses can be a major source of stress. Rest and play can feel like a luxury that’s just out of reach. Or, you may feel that work demands every minute of your day.

When I help my coaching clients schedule their work, we start with play. Then rest, and then we schedule in hours to focus on income-producing activities. The energy, focus, insight and clarity for this focused work comes directly out of the rest and play segments of the day. Since it’s not common to talk about how good rest and play are for the working part of your life, it can feel a little scary to give so much time to it. Start small and notice how it feels.

For the next few posts, I’ll dive deeper into each segment of this work-rest-play formula and share some journal prompts and exercises to help you create a just-right balance for yourself.

Here’s one to get started: Make a list of 5 to 10 things you love to do. Like ride your bike, go swimming, knit, or bake bread. Now, pick one and go do it. Extra credit if you do this during your typically scheduled work hours. Notice how you feel during this playful activity. What kinds of thoughts might be coming up around your right to be doing this? Then, when you get back into work, how do you feel? Do you notice anything from play that influences your work?

If you’d like, leave a comment and share what you did.